I’ve been doofing for years, I roll in with stuffed animals
There’s no rules to this, so I wrote The Cooker’s Manual
A step-by-step booklet for you to have
The best time possible and not fuck up like a spaz NUMBER
Number 1: Set up your tent before you get on it
Coz sleeping on the ground is really really fucking horrid
And doing things wasted makes them so much harder
And a good home base makes everyone a lot calmer.
2. Bring heaps of snacks to eat
Food in ya tummy’s comfy, like shoes on your feet
And even if they don’t get eaten coz you’re too deep in the sesh
Save them for the trip home, and keep the driver fresh
3. Every night try and get a bit of sleep
Or you might pass out somewhere baking in the heat
And sleep deprived minds find madness quite easily
And once they’re off an running they defy all reasoning
4. Check the quality of your score
Maybe there’s a reason no one’s seen that colour of powder before
5. A pro-tip: Lighter on a String
Coz you will never find your lighter no matter how many you bring
6. Some chicks get out their tits to feel great, bro
It doesn’t mean she wants to root you and your mate though
7. Keep hydrated, bring a reusable bottle
Coz you need to keep up with the fluids when you’re hitting the throttle
Old Mate H2O is the go when you’re up and on a roll
Coz you can’t replace that sweat you leak with alcohol
8. You will always be late and always lose a mate
So make a dancefloor meet spot and leave the rest to fate
9. Please, be safe with what you’re taking
Don’t be a hero, coz no one ordered the burnt bacon
The authorities are waging a war on this shit
The last thing the scene needs is any more statistics
10. This rule is by far the most important
Leave no trace, means taking away everything that you brought in
That means all your rubbish, toys, decorations
If you brought it in take it out, end of conversation
Follow these tips you’ll have a mad sesh for days
It’s a playground for adults we’re all welcome to play
Don’t be a cunt and try not to shit yourself
Show some love for the land and everyone else
Peace, Love, Unity and Respect
These foundations are set as we all intersect
My advice is just do you coz you do
The best version of yourself, no one else can do you

Make some noise if you've been to Seshlehem, make some noise if you like a phat bassline...
...make some noise if you're a dirty trashbag!

.......it is what it is, and that’s the way we like it